Cabella's :The religion not the store

            My brother in law has come up with an absolutely genius money making scheme, oops I mean tool. Since Cabala has become popular among celebrity gentiles that know absolutely nothing about Judaism, it got us thinking, hey, if jerks like Madonna can charge ridiculous amounts for Cabala bracelets, why don't we start our own new celebritant religion! It shall be known as, Cabellas!
                 We will sell camouflage strings to tie around our member's wrists for $5. Then we will sell camouflage candles and outdoor supplies with a 85% mark up! We will tell our members to go camping in the woods for years at a time and to only use our products so that they don't taint their meditation process with the outside world or electricity. We could make entire Cabella's communities that must live off our products! We could all worship creepy stuffed animals that they have hung in the stores.